Hannah

2025 Scholarship Winner
Attending a West Coast community college

Hannah’s Essay

Content warning: This post discusses suicidal feelings. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Note: Hannah’s identity is obscured for privacy concerns.

Cyberbullying has changed my persona as a whole. My freshman year, I had just learned how social media worked and followed people I didn't know. One day, I was added into a group chat on Instagram, with multiple people. I did not care to be aware of who they were. I just wanted to make friends.

Over time as I texted these people, they became cruel with their comments. It got to a point where they were demanding that I end my life and recorded myself doing so. Once I received these messages, my heart sank. I left the group chat, but they kept adding me back to it. I then realized how many people were in this group chat because I kept getting added back by different people. After the incident, I deleted my online presence.

When I was at school, I hung out alone or with my boyfriend. I hated going to school. I soon figured out the majority of the people in that group chat were seniors. I felt embarrassed to exist because I thought all the upperclassmen were judging me. I hated eating at school because of my weight. Regardless of where I was, I felt like I stood out. I never talked to an adult about the situation either as my family would blame the children who get cyberbullied for their situations since you can easily delete the app. What they don't understand is the second the notifications pop up on your screen, you never forget them.

During the end of my sophomore year, I decided to get social media back because I was trying out for my high school's cheer team and they posted their updates online. I also broke up with my boyfriend at the time as he held me down a lot. Unfortunately, when junior year actually started, I did get cyberbullied online again. This time, it was by my ex-boyfriend and his friend group. They screen-shotted the things I posted and sent them to their own group chat purely for the pleasure of making fun of me. Most comments were about my weight or how I looked terrible ever since I had left him. This put me into a severe depression my entire junior year, and my self confidence was the lowest it has ever been.

When senior year came around, things got better. I took the time to work on myself throughout the summer and lost weight. I got a "no contact contract" against my ex-boyfriend which demanded he and his friends were not allowed to talk about me. Ever since then, I am more secure in myself. I blocked the "beauty standard" out and started loving myself for who I am. I have matured a lot and decided I will not be intimidated by other people.